Anyway, I give to you (reluctantly) this Jackie Jokers solo story which, I assume, came from Jackie's short-lived solo series before he was teamed with Richie Rich (and, of course, Richie got top billing because that's how the world's richest kid rolls!). Apparently kid comedians can't carry comic book series on their own, so they have to piggyback on a character with a proven track record. But hey, don't feel too bad, Jackie; you could've ended up like Billy Bellhops (Google it, people!).
But enough digressing; I give you "Cap'n Billy's Come-Back." It's a laugh riot (that is, if you're easily amused!)!
The town's community theater? Still looking for that big break, eh, Jackie? And who's the director of this theater? He/she must be desperate or on a strict budget to look to a 10-year-old kid to provide entertainment! Oh, but his surname is "Jokers" like it says on the mailbox! Riiiight! By that logic, Richard and Karen Carpenter could've had backup careers as building contractors if that music thing didn't work out.
So this Billy is a "Cap'n"? OK, then! Much in the same vein of Captain Kangaroo or Cap'n Crunch!
Hey, Jackie, WHAT ARE YOU DOING??? You shouldn't even be talking to this guy, much less bringing him to your home! But at least the good Cap'n is willing to sing for his supper rather than stand at an intersection with a cardboard sign!
Grits? GRITS??? Why, that'll take all of 20 minutes! Just ask Joe Pesci! Fortunately, there was some leftover McDonald's in the fridge, so all Jackie's mom had to do was pop them in the microwave for a few minutes!
Oh, so the Cap'n is a vaudeville performer,,,at "liberty!" Great way to work in those Navy terms there, Cap! Trying to convince the family that you're a naval officer! Not much demand in the Navy for vaudevillians, eh? In fact, not much demand for them ANYWHERE! Vaudeville went into decline by the 1930s and was pretty much dead by the early 50s with the advent of television. But Jackie's so gullible to believe that vaudeville is alive and well and thriving in the 70s. Get with it, kid!
Hey, Cap'n, what did Jackie ever do to you? Hmmm? Forcing that hat on his head was totally unnecessary! All you had to do was pull the egg from the hat! And what do you mean "it shouldn't have broken?" Was part of the trick to magically hard-boil the egg? Do us all a favor, Cap'n; stick to juggling! At least jugglers are a step above mimes on the entertainment hierarchy!
And yet we see more of the good Cap'n's BS when he tells Jackie an equilibrist is "one who balances things." Well, there's some truth to that statement; an equilibrist is synonymous with a tightrope walker, however! But does the Cap'n balance himself on a rope? Since he probably had a few bottles of Boone's Farm earlier in the day, he's probably in no condition to do so!
Oh, but he's OK with balancing patio chairs on his nose and doing cartwheels with both demonstrations ending with disastrous results for Mrs. Jokers. I'm surprised she didn't go into the house looking for her .22 or a can of pepper spray!
Yeah, I was wondering who that guy dressed like a 1950s gangster was! Thanks for clarifying, Jackie!
Oh, Sam is going to book this guy on the club circuit? Bad move there, Sam! The mostly-male audience is likely to greet him with "boos" and drunken chants of "BRING ON THE GIRLS!!!"
For now, though, the Cap'n has the opportunity to juggle for the masses at the community theater! Wow, he can juggle anything! Irons, sneakers, a dead chicken! They even got him some new clothes! The act has the audience laughing hysterically! Who says vaudeville is dead?
BTW, what's up with Jerry's cheekbones? Is this the only way the artist can differentiate father and son? That just looks freakish! Maybe time for a character redesign?
And don't forget, dear reader, that Jackie has his own comic book on sale now! Check eBay, Amazon, or the bargain bin at your nearest comic shop!
OK, that's it for this post! Tune in next time as Archie and the gang as well as the faculty of Riverdale High play "post office!" No, seriously! A special delivery just for you!
Excelsior!
No comments:
Post a Comment