From bribery to plagiarism to outright thievery!

If you've ever read a Richie Rich comic, watched the Saturday morning cartoon or even the live-action movie with Macaulay Culkin in the titular role, you'll know what a mischievous, conniving brat Richie's cousin Reggie Van Dough is.  In the following story, Reggie leaves the whoopee cushions and electric hand buzzers at home as he is concerned about his grades in school.  Does he decide to buckle down and hit the books?  Well, maybe not right away!  He gets a few ideas on how to achieve good marks without all that studying junk!  Today I present this gem (get it?) from Richie Rich and Gloria #9 (dated July 1979) titled "Theme's Pretty Bad."  By the way, why is Richie getting billing for this story.  He only appears in about a third of the story.  This is more of a Reggie story!  Whatever, though; let's go!

Yes, Reggie, the very idea!  What's the matter with you?  If you're going to bribe your teacher, do it with things like gold, diamonds, and bearer bonds!  Stuff that can appreciate in value!  Hey, Miss Truly didn't say she wouldn't be bribed, period; just not with cash!

Well, Reg, you didn't go about it in the right way!  And you're still not doing it right; you think you have enough money to pay Richie to do your homework for you?  He could sell you into slavery if he wanted!  Why not try the community college downtown?  Bet you'd find a college student in need of a few bucks!

Oh, THAT old trick!  Let's copy something out of a book and turn it in as your own!  In the real world, kid, you'd be sued for plagiarism!  If the original author is no longer alive, there's still the estate you have to deal with!

And here comes Miss Truly on her way to the library as well.  Doing some research, teach? Checking out some Harlequin romances or Debbie Macomber?  Maybe eyeing some beefcake within those hallowed halls?  Good luck with that; you'll just have to settle for Harlequins.

Boy, is she pissed?  She goes all She-Hulk on Reggie's plagiarized paper!!!  Calm down, lady!  Get yourself a man quick!

BTW, anybody know this O. Henry story?  It's not quite as well known as, say, "The Gift of the Magi."  But to briefly summarize the story, it's about a kid who gets kidnapped and is held for ransom.  But the kid is a monster; he's so bratty and obnoxious the kidnappers actually pay the kid's father to take him back!  And I do believe this story was the inspiration of a Reggie story where he gets kidnapped and generally makes life hell for his kidnappers.  Maybe I'll do a future post on it.  For now, back to it!

Most teachers WOULD fail you, Reg!  And Miss Truly, you might not want to upload that scowl onto your eHarmony profile!

Oh, just left it lying around in your room, eh, Richie?  Anyone can get at it, considering the estate guards must either have the day off or are on strike!

Gee, all that hard work copying someone else's homework and all you get is a "D"?  C'mon, Reg, didn't you actually read the thing?  You could have made revisions when necessary instead of copying verbatim!  Nobody's that frickin' stupid!

You COULD throw Richie under the bus and claim he copied off of YOU!

Ah, I knew it!  TEACHER'S PET!  TEACHER'S PET!!!

What a cheat?  REALLY, Reg???  Three words:  pot, kettle, black!

And then it's revealed that Reggie copied one of Richie's papers from probably the second grade!  Well, that's just embarrassing!  Wasn't Richie's handwriting back in the day enough to give it away?  He probably wasn't even writing in cursive yet!  Yes, you'd better settle for that "D" or risk failing if you confess!

So to end the story, Reggie pledges to do his own work from now on...or at least until he reaches high school when he discovers Cliff Notes at the bookstore!

OK, that'll do it for now!  Feel free to post comments on this or any of my previous entries.  I'd love to read 'em!

Next time we'll look at an homage to the classic Disney film Lady and the Tramp....sort of!

Excelsior!