Yes, Betty, where DID you ever get that trophy? Because obviously there's no engraving even indicating that it's YOUR trophy! Her mom could have won a bake-off or her dad's bowling team could have won the all-city championship! WE JUST DON'T KNOW, BETTY!!! PLEASE CLUE US IN!!!
Um..Betty, dear, no one asked to hear your life's story! Geez, when AREN'T you dejected and depressed because that gold-digging sumbitch Archie prefers Veronica to you? You really think winning a trophy will bring him around? Maybe, if the thing is made out of solid gold and encrusted with diamonds!
But you're going to drag this out over the next four pages, aren't you?
::SIGH::....OK, go on...
A trophy? That's it??? No cash, no year's supply of Turtle Wax, no brand new car??? Just a hunk of metal! I think I'm beginning to understand her infatuation with Archie; she decided a long time ago to keep her expectations as low as possible!
BTW, Bets, I'd have to check the rules, but I think ricocheting your ball off another player's head is a penalty stroke, so your hole-in-one is null and void. Sorry!
Wow, not only is she destructive but a danger to others as well! I had no idea Betty was such a klutz! And just a few stories earlier in the same issue of this comic she was an ace third baseman for Riverdale High. After she quit the baseball team, was there some kind of curse bestowed upon her?
Yes, tell her! Tell us all! We're just dying of suspense!
And speaking of dying, I don't think it's wise, considering her losing streak thus far, to allow Betty access to firearms. I'd hate to see her have to do time for manslaughter, even though she'd still be a young woman by the time she was paroled.
So Betty's reputation for being klutzy is elevated to the point where the group of men who held all these contests (and where is the woman who held the billiards tournament?) ran down to Trophys-R-Us and chipped in for her very own grey goblet. And she gets to keep it provided she doesn't sign up for any more contests! Yes, not even pie-eating! Think of the chaos that would ensue if Betty showed up!
Frankly, Betty, I would be insulted if I were you! But no, all that matters is that you got a trophy, no matter the hollow meaning behind it! Think Archie will be impressed? Think again!
And we still don't know who the brunette is! Betty never addressed her by name! Hmmm...oooooh, I get it! It's all about you, Betty! And I thought Veronica was self-centered! I AM surprised at you!
OK, that'll do it for this post! Stay tuned for the next one featured everyone's favorite strong but morbidly obese cherub, Little Lotta (yeah, there's a contradiction in terms!).
Excelsior!
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