Tuesday, August 1, 2017

No amount of Wisk will solve this problem!

Yes, I know Wisk is no longer on store shelves, but who could forget those classic commercials, like this one:


I'll bet Archie Andrews wishes his mom used this wonder detergent on his collared shirts, "R" sweaters, and even his BVDs.  The use of a thorough laundry detergent might have prevented some trouble he's about to find himself in in the upcoming story for this post.  So let's see what happens in "Red Around The Collar".


Notice something here?  No, not the supposed blood on Archie's ear.  I meant the mentioning of Archie Comics co-founder John Goldwater in the upper-left corner.  Hey, if Stan Lee can do the same at Marvel, why not?

But what is the deal with Archie's ear?  Mosquito bite?  A botched ear piercing?  Oh, what could it be?


Ooooh, it's lipstick!  What a relief!  Either Arch just got back from a date or Mom needs to switch detergent brands.  Then again, it's a bitch trying to remove lipstick from clothing, wine glasses, etc..


Yeah, Archie, you should...wait, WHAT?  Is this Mrs. A encouraging her son to give girls hickeys???   Very liberal-minded of her regarding dating rituals!  No wonder Archie admits doing so with both parental units in the room!


Whoa, wait a minute!  Is she doing a 180 here?  First she encourages such promiscuous behavior, then she scolds her son when he fesses up!  And yes, Mrs. A, Archie encourages girls to kiss him.  But nothing beyond that; this IS an Archie comic, after all.  




Wow, is Archie ever whipped?  He's actually excited Veronica is going to "let him" buy her a soda?  I'd probably reply in a more sarcastic manner with something like "Oh, gee, CAN I???"  But then again, he wouldn't be getting any more kissie-poo from her if he said something like that!

BTW, you'd think Veronica could pick up the check every once in a while seeing that her old man is loaded.  But no, she probably gets her kicks making various lowly Riverdale peasants buy her things.


Is that the same shirt Archie wears in the first panel?  It turned yellow!  But it's probably another shirt!  Wow, Archie's wardrobe must be covered in lipstick smears.  Definitely time to switch to another detergent brand, Mary!

Now I'm not sure if Mary is throwing her son under the bus here or is hinting to Veronica that she should wash the lipstick out of Archie's shirt.  After all, she's the one who smear her shade on his shirt.  Or is she?


So THAT's why Veronica is upset!  Initially, I thought she was mad because Mrs. A dared to suggest that she wash Archie's shirt!  But she has servants to take care of that for her; never mind! 



Hey, maybe Jug has taken to wearing lipstick!  His reputation as a woman hater could mean that he bats for the other team if you know what I mean.  Maybe Arch needs to spend less time with his beanie-wearing pal!


And under the bus Archie goes yet again!  Gee, thanks, Mom!

And Veronica, what makes you think it was Betty?  Surely Riverdale's teenage girl population isn't that limited.  Midge, maybe?  Naw, Archie wouldn't want to get pounded by her insanely jealous boyfriend!  Whoever's lipstick is on her collar, Veronica's so mad about it she's spewing stars and curly Qs from her mouth!


Not Betty, either!  For a minute there, I thought a catfight was going to break out!


And Archie beats out Veronica with the star-spewing so frustrated that he can't convince her he was out with Jughead.


Yeah, gee whiz!  Way to go, Mom, getting your son in Dutch with both of his potential soulmates!


Oh, Mary, how could you???  Your own son???  FOR SHAME!!!


OK, accidents happen, but why would you want to keep it a secret?  Why not just come clean to Archie and, more importantly, his girlfriends?

Or are you afraid that doing so could result in folks jumping to conclusions thinking that there's an incestuous relationship going on within the Andrews family?

Oh, we've got trouble right here in River Cit...er, Riverdale!  Yes, indeed...
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OK, that's it for this post!  See you soon with another one!

Excelsior!

Alan

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